I think a default tip/rule should just be keep your pet on passive. If you don't have control of your pet at all times, then you have a chance to screw up raid mechanics and wipe the raid. Good example is on Nazgrim; if your pet is off passive and keeps poking the boss while he's in Defensive Stance. I always have my pet on passive but macro'd to attack with my Chimera Shot command. Even if my Chimera Shot is on CD, I can still use the macro to direct my pet where I want it.
I feel using Deterrence and Disengage are self-explanatory to when they should be used. Something on you that will kill raid, Disengage, but bad AoE or too many of X up, Deterrence to deal with it.
Main tip is that for Deterrence, make sure you have the 'Glyph of Detterence' so that when you do use Deterrence for these purposes it decreases all damage by 50%, not just 30%.